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Stocking up on shinies

Yesterday, I took a slightly different approach to things. I know I’m meant to be working on finishing up TCM but what I really wanted to do was work on Birth Rights.

So I did.

It still needs a little more work. I want to try a couple of different versions as some suggestions were made and I want to see how they change the overall feel of the story. Hopefully by the end of the weekend I’ll be happy with where it’s at. It didn’t feel like I had done much work though, so when I went to bed early I got Lauren to sleep and made some notes in my phone.

4 new short story ideas! Some of them should be a lot of fun to write, other’s need more thinking time before I am anywhere near ready to write them, but all the same, it’s exciting to have some new ideas, and confidence boosting to know that if I sit down to think up ideas, I’m actually able to get some.

I did actually do a little work on TCM, but because I wanted to. This is a new approach – following my wants rather than a trying to keep my focus on the WIP – and who knows whether it will work or not. I think giving myself a little freedom though, while still sticking to my goals, is going to be a positive thing.

Not sure what today holds, but I’m looking forward to finding out :-)

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There are no Ants

As far as I can tell (other than being less stressed and sleeping better that is) the reason things feel so different is because there are no ants.

I know it’s not very deep, or exciting, but I realized that the ants are gone and so too is the crushing knowledge of their presence.

You might not feel the way I do about ants. In and of themselves, I don’t have a problem with them, but when they are infesting my house, attacking our food stores, when they are crawling over even clean benches and dishes in order to find a trace of anything edible… yuck, just yuck. Everywhere, in everything, crawling over light switches and walls. Just yuck.

It builds up on you – when will you see them next? What packet of food will you be about to use when you realize that the ants are inside it?

And for the record the house isn’t dirty, food isn’t left lying around the place (well, when Ivy isn’t hiding it anyways…), the ants are not everywhere all the time, they come and go, but you always suspect that they are there somewhere.  Waiting, lurking….

So yes, we finally got a new bug spray thingy and the ants have disappeared. I hadn’t realized it had been a few days since I’d last seen them, but I saw a couple this morning, dead legs sticking up in the air, and smiled.

No more ants.

A strange day

Seriously, one weird day, but not bad in any way, just… different somehow.

We were having a good morning, Hubby came home sick from work, which meant I had a little more ability to get the washing on the line, the house is looking pretty good and I got some little jobs out of the way,we all had lunch together at the table (a rare occurance!), Ivy had lots of fun (I don’t really think I did anything special, maybe it was the pastels I let her play with?), then when I did take her down to daycare she didn’t want me to go, which was fine. I hung out for awhile until she took off with one of her friends and waved me goodbye. Then after we got home Lauren and I had a ball together, we laughed a lot, it was just really nice. Then she slept on me while I watched Mythbusters, it was almost as if Hubby wasn’t even home! Normally he commandeers the TV when he’s home sick lol.

And now here we are… and, it’s just been really nice. I feel so relaxed and everyone is happy, it’s beautiful. The soup smells divine, and I can’t wait to eat it, Ivy is almost ready for bed and then there will probably just be Lauren and me up because I bet hubby will retire to bed as well.

I’m not really sure what is different, but something is, and it’s nice. I can’t really put my finger on it, but I hope I figure out what it is, or that whatever it is continues, because I like this – a lot. I even managed to do a little writing and I am sure I’ll get more done later.

What’s going on?? So strange, and yet so good.

Feeling good

We’re almost a week into July and life is running along nicely. Not writing before bed means I’m sleeping better (yay!) even if it also means progress is slower, I can handle that because in general I’m feeling so much better!

Slowly, I’m destressing, and spending time getting life in order – I’ve finally started the mammoth task of weeding the gardens, Ivy’s room has been tidied, things are getting put in place and I’m spending more time just chilling with my girls. We’ve been spending a lot of time blowing bubbles lately, which if you ask me, is one of the most enjoyable things one can do with small children. There is still a lot to do, but I’m pacing myself.

As for the writing, I really hope to have TCM wrapped up by the end of this month, this will free me up for getting a couple of short stories rewritten and polished during August for the End is Nigh.

And now… off to touch base with TCM for a bit, then to bed with a book.

Why my Mum rocks

Last night Mum made her first ever comment on my blog, and I decided to give it a blog post of it’s own because I think it has value, not just to me, but other writer’s as well.

Mum:

I am Sooooo proud of you girl!

I’m sorry I didn’t remember to tell you about getting a storytelling career off the ground – and you probably don’t remember it! It is the most unconventional thing I’ve done work wise, and I quit at about the point it was about to get bigger. That journey to getting confident was huge for me – you know I hate crowds and at that pointed hated being the focus of attention too LOL

Anyway, what I learnt in that short time is that ALL artists – and writers are artists – by nature of the artistic process, are misunderstood to an extent except by other artists.

I also learnt that artists need to get their work out there in the public for feedbac – simply the general public read for pleasure and aren’t interested in the craft aspect LOL

The public feedback and your growing from it is part of honing your craft.

The journey to mastery is one of putting yourself and your work out there, daring to expose yourself in that, learning from the experiences and constantly honing and growing as an artist. Give people – us joe publics – the chance to simply enjoy your work – as I have, and others.

In the end, it is the public who will decide what value your artistry has to them.

What greater joy could there be that writing a story which brings you delight, throwing it out into the public arena and letting others of like mind find it and be delighted too.

As far as others go – they will find other authors who are telling their legends for them – as it should be.

As for your friends out here – if their own mothers aren’t proud of them, I certainly am – and thankful. Your dreams and writing make our world all the richer. Don’t hold back, feed us your dreams.

Arohanui

First Chapter rewrite

Awhile ago I mentioned a challenge I was going to take part in this month, and 6 days in, I’m done! woo, nice to have it out of the way so that I can get back to TCM and Birth Rights.

So, here goes nothing :-) It’s rough, but hey, it was written quickly and just for fun!

NOTE: WordPress messed with my formatting, I’m currently holding sleeping babe and am not up to fixing it. So there, Tama :-P

Chapter One

The group sat around a table dressed in rich red, the walls of the room draped in the same velvet. Clouds of smoke filled the air as the trio indulged in glasses of red.

‘I have heard there will be tarot card readers and one of those pipes from the orient, you know, for smoking hashish,’ Charles Vanderpole said in hushed tones, puffing on his own pipe.

‘Tarot? Is that not illegal?’ Penelope Long commented, leaning in with a gleam in her eye. ‘I’ve heard that there will be magic, and speaking with the dead.’ She raised an eyebrow archly.

‘There are only a few days to go now,’ Hamner Gamgee added, ‘and if you really want to know you should just ask my boy Samuel. He’s been up there day and night this last week helping to set things in place.’

‘Has he said anything about the arrangements?’ Penelope asked, ever the gossip.

‘Not to me he hasn’t,’ Hamner replied with a sniff. ‘He’s a good boy, loyal to his friends.’

‘You’re speaking of young Froderick, aren’t you?’ Charles asked. ‘I’ve heard that he’s not really Bill’s nephew at all, rather his young lover.’ He pressed his lips together in a tight smile.

‘Lovers? Why, I’d never heard that before!’ Penelope declared. ‘But they are close, and… they don’t share the same name, perhaps there is something to it. Hamner?’

‘Don’t look at me, I’ve been Bill’s Doctor for years now, but I wouldn’t like to lay any claims to knowing anything about that.’ He shook his head firmly. ‘They are family though, I know that much.’

‘Incest then, it’s not unheard of,’ Charles said offhandedly.

‘I think it unwise to jump to such conclusions,’ Hamner cut in. ‘If we’re to get anything out of this little party, you’ll want Bill onside. There are many treasures hidden away within the bowels of his mansion, and he’s not likely to welcome you into his home if he thinks you’ve been gossiping.’

‘Gossip? Hardly,’ Charles said disdainfully. ‘Merely a little chatter between friends. Right?’ He looked pointedly at the Doctor.

‘Yes, yes, friends,’ Hamner said quickly. He didn’t like the way that Charles was looking at him, but he was in too deep now, there was no going back. He felt sick to his stomach that he had revealed so much about Bill already, but he had heard him telling Froderick that he was going away, so surely there was no harm in using this as a way to step up the social, and economic ladder?

The three continued to converse, Hamner’s worries slipping away with the last dregs of wine in his glass.

*

The town was abuzz with talk of the party, though the only one who didn’t seem to want to talk about it was Bill himself. He was far older than he looked and he could feel those years weighing down on him. He wanted nothing more than to be free of this place, now, but the arrangements had all been made, all he had to do was hold fast until tomorrow.

Presently he was waiting on his doorstep for the great Gandalphini to arrive. They had long been friends, though it had been a year or more since the last time his foreign companion had visited. He hoped that Gandalphini would arrive soon, it seemed only when he was surrounded by those with many years behind them that he felt anything like normal these days.
A carriage rattled up the drive, and Bill raised his head from his thoughts and smiled. Only Gandalphini would arrive in a contraption with multi coloured ribbons streaming from every possible place, they waved frantically behind the carriage, settling gently as it rolled to a stop. The driver jumped down from his seat and rushed around to open the carriage door, where Gandalphini stepped gracefully out from, his white robes shimmering in the dawn light.
‘Ah Bill, my dear friend. I hope I haven’t kept you long,’ Gandalphini said softly, a wry smile on his lips and a twinkle in his eye.
‘No, no, of course not my friend,’ Bill replied, also with a smile, standing to embrace Gandalphini. ‘I’m glad you’ve arrived safely, I trust you had no trouble?’
‘Oh who would trouble the great Gandalphini? Really, I’m well known in these parts you should be aware by now, no one would dare trouble me.’ The tall man shook his head, his long grey hair swinging side to side as he did so. ‘Are we all ready for tomorrow then?’ He raised an eyebrow.
‘Yes, yes, as much as we can be,’ he paused. ‘Do you think I’m doing the right thing?’
‘Of course I do, in fact if you hadn’t thought of the idea yourself I would have prompted you to follow the same course. Your true life is waiting for you, has been for all these years you’ve kept yourself cooped up here.’
‘As long as I have your confidence good friend, I’ll not need to fear my actions.’ Bill nodded and turned towards the door. ‘Tea then? And some bread, I’ve had some freshly made, it should still be hot.’
‘It sounds delightful,’ Gandalphini agreed, and followed Bill inside. As they made their way through the mansion to the kitchen, it was obvious that things had gone missing. ‘Have you been robbed or something dear friend?’
‘No, no, I’m giving things away. You’ve always said to me that it was better to be free of goods than tied down. I have always admired the way you live – a bag over your shoulder and little else to tie you down.’
‘Ah but even I have some things of value stashed away,’ Gandalphini commented. ‘Surely you don’t mean to keep nothing?’
‘I have a few things hidden for safe keeping my friend, never you mind, and most of this will be left to Froderick. That boy is going to need all the help he can get.’ Bill sighed as they entered the kitchen, and set to work making the tea, preferring to do it himself than have their conversation interrupted by a servant. ‘I worry about him. It’s not that he is too young to be left alone, but he is so used to my company. You will check in on him, won’t you?’

‘Don’t you worry about that now Bill, I’ll make sure to drop by as often as I can.’ Gandalphini accepted the tea that was offered and sipped of it. ‘And the ring? You’ll leave that behind?’

‘You and your worry about the ring. It is mine, and if I want to take it I will.’

‘We’ve been over this Bill – you’ve kept it safe for many years now and it’s time to pass it on. I can see how tired you are getting, and it’s not just from the weight of these four walls and your riches.’

‘We shall see,’ Bill replied stiffly.

‘Yes, I guess we shall.’ Silence fell between them as they drank their tea, neither wishing to press the other further. Eventually Gandalphini took his leave, promising to return in the morning to go over the plans.

*

The party began with a boom, a great gush of flame shot into the night and burst, sprinkling the sky with a glittering rain which hissed as it fell back to earth. A cheer erupted from the crowd gathered on the lawn in front of the mansion as everyone raised their glasses and saluted the sky. Exotic women on stilts wove their way through the crowd, spidery tendrils of fabric draped from their arms, brushing the faces of those below, while a group of men in white robes chanted to the beat of a drum.

‘My, this is certainly something different,’ Penelope said, eyes wide as she glanced around, trying to take everything in.

‘Indeed, this party will be the talk of the town for months to come. I dare say it will be nigh on impossible for anyone to top this – though it wouldn’t surprise me if the police arrived to shut it down,’ Charles sniffed.

‘We had better hope not, for police intervention will do nothing to help our cause,’ Penelope replied sharply. ‘Now stop being so pessimistic and lets enjoy ourselves while we wait for the right time to approach Bill.’ With a smile, she placed a hand on his arm and drew him into the crowd.

Elsewhere, Bill pulled Gandalphini aside. ‘I’m not going to wait until the end, I can’t,’ he said, almost having to shout to get himself heard. His face twitched as he spoke, a small shudder running down his spine.

‘No? When then?’ Gandalphini asked.

‘Now! Get their attention, it’s time for the final act!’

There was a fervor in his eyes which Gandalphini had to respect. This man was burning to be rid of this place and off into the wilderness where truth and purity awaited. ‘Alright then friend, give me but a moment,’ he said the words softly, placing a reassuring arm on his friends shoulder before leading them up the steps to the platform that had been built for this purpose.

He paused for a moment before gathering his magic and speaking to the crowd. ‘Here me!’ And they did, for there was no ignoring the call. ‘On behalf of my very good friend Bill Baggins, I would like to thank you all for coming and ask that you gather near for the wonderful gentleman himself to give a small speech.’

The crowd hooted and cheered as Gandalphini stepped aside to let Bill move to the front of the stage.

‘Friends and family, some of whom I know well, and others who I do not. I would like to thank you all for coming to share in my birthday celebrations, along with my dear nephew Froderick’s as well, we are both very lucky to have so many gather for the occasion.’ Bill paused in his speech as he tried to find Froderick in the crowd, but the young man was nowhere to be seen. ‘I’ll keep this short, for I have other things to attend to – drink and be merry! May life treat you kindly, and may you all enjoy longevity and prosperity.’ He slipped his hand into his pocket then, seeking the warmth of his ring and glanced back towards Gandalphini to give him a short nod. The old man winked and caused a poof of smoke to appear in front of Bill who took the opportunity to slide the ring onto his finger and disappear from sight.

*

When he had made his way across the lawn and up into the house, Bill slid the ring back off his finger and looked at it fondly. It had served him well all these years and he was loathe to part with it now. Surely there was no real need to….

‘There you are Uncle,’ Froderick said, entering the room. ‘I’ve been looking for you.’ The young man approached with a smile on his face and clapped Bill on his shoulder.

‘You missed my speech young one, where have you been?’

‘I didn’t want to miss you before you parted. Gandalphini said that you had something for me?’

‘Oh he did, did he.’ Bill’s voiced tightened, his chest too. He suddenly felt more constricted than ever before.

‘Yes old friend, I thought it a wise course of action,’ Gandalphini’s voice filled the room and Bill turned to find him entering.
‘You don’t trust me at all, do you,’ Bill spat out, mistrust lacing his words.
‘It is not you I do not trust Bill, it’s the ring.’ Gandalphini lowered his gaze to Bill’s hand. ‘Where is it then?’
‘I’m going to take it with me, it’s not a burden that Froderick needs to bear.’
‘Ah but it is. It’s time to pass it on Bill, go on, you’ll feel better for it in the end and just think of what is waiting for you, out there beyond these walls, this town.’
Bill’s shoulders slumped forward and he sighed then slipped his hand back into his pocket to find the ring. He very nearly put it back on his finger, tempted to disappear and take it with him, but before he could follow through on that thought he brought his hand back out and tossed the ring towards Froderick. The young man fumbled but managed to catch it before it hit the ground.
‘Don’t wear it, unless you have to,’ Bill warned him. ‘Now come here and give me a hug. I should leave now before I change my mind.’
Froderick approached him slowly, then wrapped his arms around his uncle. ‘Take care Bill, I’ll look after everything here for you.’
‘I know you will boy, I know you will.’ Bill nodded, then turned to grab his pack. ‘Enjoy!’ He declared, with a flourish of his hand, before heading towards the door.
‘Do you think I’ll ever see him again?’ Froderick asked Gandalphini.
‘Oh, I have no doubt about that lad. No doubt at all.’

Thoughts and revelations

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking today about my writing, and after yet another person asking me whether I’m going to ‘work’ soon and wanting to tell them that I AM working, I’ve realized that I am working. I know that might sound odd, but it’s finally kind of kicked in that the amount of time I spend thinking about my writing, or actually writing, does pretty much equate to working. No, I’m not getting paid for it at the moment, but it’s work nonetheless.Yes I love it and would do it even if I never got paid, but it’s still work.

After my Dad badgered me about getting some part time work from home a couple of weeks ago I remember speaking to my Mum, who said that I was working, but that it didn’t equate to work in his mind because of the lack of pay thing. I guess it didn’t really click then, even though she said it so clearly. She gets that writing isn’t a job in the traditional sense, and she also gets that I am absolutely serious about being a writer.( I love her so much for that, and I appreciate it as well because she is one of the people who always validates me and my decisions.)

And then today I was looking around at places I could submit Birth Rights to and I realized I could get paid for writing (I know, at this point you’re all sitting there going, wow, this girl is seriously slow…). I KNOW people get paid for writing short stories, but I hadn’t made that leap to thinking that I could be one of those people who get paid.

I’ve not been giving myself enough credit. I’ve not been allowing myself to think about the potential to earn a little pocket money, and I’ve certainly not (until today) considered that perhaps if I were to be making some money, any money, out of writing, I could show people that in fact I AM working.

I spoke to Chibi about this, and she did a wonderful thing and submitted a story somewhere, which I’m so proud of her for actually doing it. And I spoke to Tama, who totally backed me up with my thoughts, and I also read this blog post here by Ripley which made me think.

I don’t want to be the twenty novel girl, I don’t want to be the fifty story girl either, I want to be a girl who is actually putting herself out there, giving herself some credit for the time, love and dedication she is pouring into her work.

And this isn’t about fame, or money, because we all know most writers don’t get a lot of that. But hell, if I’m going to get nagged about a job, I want that job to be my writing, not something I loathe.

Oh gee

No posts for a couple of days! Show’s how much writing I’ve been getting done huh ;-)

Lauren’s been pretty clingy with this whole tooth thing, but I think the worst of it has passed as it’s cut through the surface now. Sharp little thing it is! Will be so weird once it’s up further, gonna miss her gummy little smile, though I guess before I know it, she’ll have a mouthful of teeth. If there is one thing that having kids does very well it’s remind you how short life is, how quickly things change.

Anyways… I did actually finish reading chapter one of LotR last night, though I started my rewrite of it a few days ago. I knew the gist of it, and once I had my idea I just wanted to start getting it down on paper. I’m excited about it, though at this point I think it’s moving too far from the original to be classified a rewrite! lol it does show that you can take a pre-existing idea and generate new ones from it I guess. We’ll see, gonna reign it in a little.

As for TCM, I’ve added about 1k to it over the last few days. The pace has definitely dropped a little, but baby comes first, so it’ll get done when it gets done. I’m hoping that the end of the month will see ‘the end’, then I can get back to Lifelines.

To throw another spanner in the works, I had this dream last night. WOW, what a doozy. It’s got major potential for a book of it’s own, there is no way I can cram it into a short as far as I can see. I love love love the images I have running around upstairs, but I have to cool it off somehow. Explosions and double crossing, intergalactic espionage – I want!

Ah yes, new shiny, if it was a short, then I’d jump on it right now, as it is, all I can do is jot down everything from the dream that I can remember, and start thinking about how to fill in the gaps, because there are plenty of questions that need answering before I can write it. Well, and TCM to finish… and Lifelines to get sorted… someone really needs to invent a way to extend the hours of the day! Though I guess, if I had more, I’d still want to spend most of them with the girls…

In general, I’m feeling anything but stressed, relaxed, sleeping okay, chilling out. I’m doing great on the chill out front and not even worrying too much that I’m not making enough progress. It’s enough, and I’ve got a whole month set aside for taking it easier, I have to stick to that otherwise I’ll be back into everything boots and all, and just as stressed as I was before. Ah balance, the lesson that is always begging to be learned. Maybe this time huh?

July 1!

Wooooo, hello July, I’m so happy to see you :-)

Actually, I am just about done with the KW work, but not quite. Still waiting on a few author bios, still have some winner’s certificates to mail out, but getting there and feeling very good about where I am at.

I started reading Lord of the Rings this morning, am not yet through the first chapter (plenty of interruptions), but have started having some ideas about how I could rewrite it. Hopefully by the end of the week I should have gotten started on that.

I’ve had a couple of days off writing, relaxing in the evenings to make sure that I sleep better. I really think that writing right before bed is a bad idea for me because all through the night I am then consumed by thoughts about whatever it is I’ve been working on. To this end, I’m going to have to try and fit my writing in before we eat dinner because after that it’s all hands on deck until the girls are in bed, then I think I just want to reserve my evenings for spending with Hubby.

Oh, Lauren’s first tooth really looks like it’s coming through now. I didn’t want to mention anything until I could be sure, but I can see clearly where it’s coming in, and fingers crossed it doesn’t take too much longer!

Anyway, must go. Going to try and fit a few hundred words in before getting Ivy from ABC – hopefully it doesn’t take too long to slide back into TCM.

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